


Not the Candle You're Looking For

by Jayenator565



Series: Clexmas18 [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexmas, Clexmas 2018, Crack, F/F, Fluff, It's rated M because of sex toy mentions, Secret Santa, certified clexa crack, i hope you like this, no but forreal Clexa Haven secret santa for Noodle!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 13:56:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17245478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayenator565/pseuds/Jayenator565
Summary: Raven gets Lexa for their annual secret Santa gift trade-off. She takes the time to really buy the one thing she knows her friend would appreciate. Of course, it's also a bit of a prank.





	Not the Candle You're Looking For

**Author's Note:**

> Yup I'm you're secret Santa noodle! I hope you like it, I tried to incorporate the stuff I saw on your blog and that we talked about briefly XD and well as you can see this is the result. I already know you had a good Christmas but also I hope you have a happy New Year!

“Raven…”

 

“Yes, Clarke.” Raven’s shit-eating grin was enough of an answer but Clarke decided to power through since Lexa was mortified enough she probably wouldn’t be able to string together a coherent sentence for the foreseeable future. This one was all on Clarke because her insufferable best friend seemed to have taken it upon herself to gift them  _ the monstrosity  _ that was currently laying innocently in Lexa’s lap surrounded by the torn wrapping paper. 

 

In front of all their friends.

 

She was going to kill Raven Reyes. Maybe not today, maybe not even tomorrow, but when Anya wakes up to find one side of the bed empty...Clarke would know why.

 

“Raven, please tell me that isn’t what I think it is,” Clarke said in a calm and even voice. Withholding her great annoyance at the entire situation that left even poor Monty steaming red in the face and Jasper hysterically cackling beside Murphy and Emori. Anya was facepalming her girlfriend’s antics and dear Lincoln couldn’t bear to look his cousin in the eye. 

 

“Well Griff, it really depends on what you think it is.” 

 

Internally she did her best to count backwards from ten although the numbers were slowly melting in the heat of the hellfire she imagined raining down on her so-called best friend. 

 

“Well Reyes, I  _ think _ it’s a dildo that has been decorated to look like a candle. Care to comment?”

 

Lexa could see from the gleam in Raven’s eyes and the tick in Clarke’s jaw that Raven would be all too pleased to continue pushing Clarke’s buttons, even if it was inadvisable for her health. While Lexa herself wouldn’t mourn the loss too greatly, it would affect her sister. She supposed she had a sisterly duty to try and prevent her future sister-in-law’s death.  

 

As mortifying as the whole prank had been for her she still rest her hand on Clarke’s thigh and squeezed in an attempt to calm her down. 

 

“You’re always saying it’s the thought that counts and I know you like sex, I’d assume Lexa does too if the noises I heard when we were roommates was any indication,” Scratch that, Anya could find love again, in fact, Luna was recently single.

 

“The candles definitely speak for themselves. If anything it’s like the perfect kinky gift.”

 

Niylah was also single and if the unwanted smiles she kept shooting Clarke were any indication she seemed ready to mingle. 

 

In all the amusement Lincoln managed to make his way over, he seemed almost as embarrassed as Lexa currently felt, “...sooo, candles?”

“We aren’t talking about it,”

 

“Right.”

 

“This never happened, especially if you and Octavia want to give it a go for child number 2.”

 

“Never happened, er-only use electric lights in our house.”

 

That got a faint chuckle out of the writer who bumped her shoulder playfully into Lincoln’s own. 

 

“Glad that’s sorted.”

 

Her glares were enough warning to the peanut gallery consisting of Murphy, Bellamy, and Jasper. Plus Wells was good enough at keeping everyone in line and yes, eventually with the combined efforts of Anya and Clarke they managed to squeeze an apology out of Raven for the prank. 

 

Lexa chuckled, “You know An, Clarke’s just going to get her back for this.”

 

“Oh, I expect it. It would be more surprising if she did nothing in retaliation.”

 

\--

 

“Mmm next time we let someone neutral be in charge of secret Santa. Like Wells, or even Monty.” Clarke huffed out, some residual annoyance still dripping from her words.

 

Lexa wrapped around her arm, the other woman, pushing her head into the nook right by Clarke’s neck, effectively covering the girl like a koala in an attempt to get her to be quiet.

 

“Mhmm,” Lexa mumbled halfway asleep already

 

“Merry Christmas by the way.”

 

Sure enough, just peaking her head out, Lexa could make out the flashing numbers on their digital clock. It was now a minute past midnight.

 

“Merry Christmas love,” Lexa sighed contentedly, “you know aside from the opening up in front of all our friends part, the gift wasn’t that bad.”

 

She felt Clarke stiffen under her until the blonde was propping herself up on her elbows.

 

Clarke raised an incredulous eyebrow, “Seriously?”

 

“I just mean-”

 

“No.”

 

“But Clarke-”

 

“Nope.”

 

“I’m just saying-”

 

“Lexa we are not keeping the candle dildo, we have dildos! There are so many other dildos we can buy!”

 

“I know-”

 

“It’s the principle of it, Lex! We can’t be mad and still keep it.”

 

Clarke grumbled beneath her breath but calmed back down enough to press a kiss to Lexa’s forehead before extracting herself out of the bed.

 

“Where are you going?” Lexa asked amused by Clarke’s antics. Usually, she was the overdramatic one.

 

“I’m going to walk back in here and pretend like you never said that so I can get some sleep, then we can wake up and open all of our normal presents and enjoy the holiday. Deal?”

 

Lexa snorted but conceded to Clarke’s wishes, “Deal dear.”

 

So it seemed Clarke would not be budging on their gift from Raven...Maybe Lexa could hide it, give her some time to settle. It was less of her being upset and more of a stubborn Griffin pride thing at this point. But hey a dildo was a dildo and you know the saying, waste not, want not. It certainly had nothing to do with the fact that it was shaped like a candle. That would be ludicrous. 

 


End file.
